So are you happy that, your family is proud of you?”
*****
“Yes, I am happy. Not because my family is proud of me but because there is some sort of unsaid joy that I can feel sometimes.” I replied
“So that means you are happy with your way of living life, Right?”
“Sometimes yes and sometimes no. I think I hate my life but deep down no. I love the way I live. I thought I just wanted someone to clear the FOMO I had in my mind.”
Hmmm… she hummed.
Long ago, maybe two or three years back, although it feels like just yesterday, I would like to use a fancy term called “down the memory lane.” It was during that time when I had an unforgettable encounter that left a lasting impression on me. Like that nostalgic author, let me take you on a journey through time.
I had a neighbor and her name was Khushi. She was the epitome of humility, bubbliness, and the girl-next-door charm. Although we weren’t particularly close back then, every time we crossed paths, she had a way of making me feel special.
Our meetings were not a daily occurrence, but rather sporadic moments amid grocery shopping or while searching for a parking spot. We would exchange smiles, greet each other warmly, and engage in cute little chit-chats. Our relationship was neither too close nor entirely unfamiliar; we existed in a neutral space.
One fine day, as I ventured out to stock up on groceries for my home, a surprise awaited me. As I made my way towards the parking lounge, I heard a familiar voice calling out my name. To my astonishment, I was engulfed in a massive, warm hug from none other than Khushi, the girl I mentioned earlier. The shock on my face mirrored the surprise in my heart, but I reciprocated her affection wholeheartedly.
She insisted on giving me a ride to the nearest grocery store, despite my humble attempts to decline her kind offer. Before I could protest any further, she playfully pulled me into the passenger seat of her car, and off we went.
The ride started in silence, but after a few minutes, she broke the tranquility with a question that caught me off guard. “Varsha, have you read the book ‘The Alchemist’?” Her inquiry left me in awe, and I’ll tell you why.
In a bustling apartment complex where everyone seemed to be caught up in the modern whirlwind of social media scrolling and superficial interactions, I always felt like a bit of an old-school soul. While others were busy partying, I found solace in self-help books and cried alone in the corner of my room. I yearned for friends who shared my vibe and could engage in deep conversations about the books I read.
On the contrary, Khushi was the life of any party she attended, effortlessly embracing and enjoying life in a way that I secretly longed for. However, the thought of stepping out of my comfort zone and joining the festivities seemed daunting. Lost in this whirlpool of contrasting thoughts, she repeated her question, pulling me back to reality.
I said, “Yeah, I badly wanted to read it.”
“So that means you didn’t read it. Maybe the universe wants you to wait for it,” she replied with a playful smile.
“You believe in the universe, God, and all that?” I asked, genuinely curious about her beliefs.
“I am a hardcore spiritual person,” she replied, trying to bring the conversation back on track.
“Oh my god! I just can’t believe it. I thought of you differently, thought that you’re not my type,” I said.
“What do you mean by your type?” she exclaimed, her eyes widening in surprise.
Caught off guard by her reaction, I felt a wave of embarrassment wash over me.
Did I say something wrong?
Did I unintentionally offend her?
The weight of my words hung heavily in the air, evident in my flushed cheeks and sheepish expression. Sensing my discomfort, she quickly reassured me, “No, no, I didn’t mean it that way. I was genuinely curious about your preferences and interests. What do you mean by ‘your type’? How laid-back are you? I don’t know you very well, and I rarely see you stepping out of your room.”
Relieved by her clarification, I let out a sigh of relief and mustered a faint smile. “That’s true,” I murmured, acknowledging the truth in her observation.
“I am much more comfortable when I am alone, but also I crave to come to all the parties, all the friends’ day out that you guys go but I am a bit scared” I spit out my mind and regretted.
I am a mysterious person. I don’t share my thoughts, feelings, and emotions with anyone. EMOTIONS begin and die within me. But this was contrary to my nature.
I continued, “I don’t know Khushi. I want to party but I don’t feel like it. I do want to have those lazy Sundays lying in bed just scrolling the social media but I can’t do that. People pity me and say my parents are the luckiest to have a daughter like me. Do I have a life? is what I think every time. I sometimes feel like am I……
“So you are living a life for people around you?” I was cut off by her sharply.
“No Not like that,” I replied
“Then? I guess, your family must be so much proud of you.”
Thats correct. I am a well-known example for all the kids in my family, they say and apparently, my cousins don’t bond with me much for the same reason” I laughed.
“So are you happy that, your family is proud of you?”
“Yes, I am happy. Not because my family is proud of me but because there is some sort of unsaid joy that I can feel sometimes.” I replied
“So that means you are happy with your way of living life, Right?”
“Sometimes yes and sometimes no. I think I hate my life but deep down no. I love the way I live. I think I just wanted someone to clear the FOMO I had in my mind.”
Hmmm… she hummed.
I did not respond. Again the silence prevailed and my stop arrived.
I bid bye to her and promised a meet-up again. Speaking to her did not give me anything new but clarified my senses. I felt like a clear sky uncovered by the dense clouds. The dense clouds of my thoughts were cleared by a wave of breeze called Khushi.
I did not hate my life what I did was just fear what people thought about what I said and how I lived. I went away to continue my work promising myself that I would change, not my way of living, but my way of thinking. Again, don’t get me wrong, this change is not for others but for me.
I will prioritize myself.
This was my encounter with that bundle of happiness, Khushi. She was there for years together but that day she just cleared my urge to be like everyone. She made me feel that I was a diamond amongst stones, I was a moon among stars and I was a rose amidst a throne.
So are you, my prettiest readers.
Go ahead.
Do not get bound.
You live your life.
Talk to a friend, if not I am always there.
Open up to the community of optimistic people.
Do take your precious minutes to comment on your insecurities, and your strengths because this world is the only better place to live, and let us help each other overcome their insecurities. Just like Khushi did to me.
Share with your friends and do let me know, if you want more such Kushi and Varsha series back from VarshaVerse.
